Hi guys, this is fork. I was tired of being used and abused by you and so I've gone to China where I have my freedom, where forks here get a break. So I'm writing you to tell you that I'm okay.

I don't speak the language but seems I don't need to. I get automatic respect here as you can see by the photos on your left and above, as I get a place of honour at the dinner table. I discuss important things with my friends like politics and art and the consistency of meat, while my friends, the chopsticks, handle the picking and poking of foodstuffs. I'm on vacation...and a much needed one I might add! Perhaps during my absence you will come to appreciate me while eating with your hands. See how YOU like being stabbed into a burning hot sizzling pork chop and perhaps you will come to appreciate my daily sacrifices and hard work...

I don't know when I will be coming back, if ever. I need to see the world first and find myself.

Say hi to my knife. Tell her I'm sorry, but a fork's gotta do what a fork's gotta do!